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11 Oct 2015


Arranged marriage has been the traditional way of conducting marriages from your ancient times. Much have changed today and today in many areas of the world especially the western part, marriage decision is totally left to the two individuals who decide to live together based on love, trust and resolve for each other. This love, trust and commitment is created over time by knowing the other person. But in majority of the Middle East and south Asian countries marriage is still fully arranged or otherwise partly arranged through the elders in the family by other authorities and also the so called gatekeepers of the society. These folks have considerable relation to the family based on religious and caste based structures. - Clase Para Matrimonos y Parejas

Why don't we understand what an arranged marriage is and what are the positives and negatives from the arranged type of marriage. Further if you choose to go for an arranged marriage it would be also wise to try taking some tips and guidelines in regards to this type of marriage. To start with, we can define arranged marriages as marriages which can be primarily decided by others other than the two those who are actually going to get married. It's also called as prearranged marriage. Because this kind of marriage is arranged by someone besides the persons actually getting married, the process of courtship is completely curtailed or shortened to a great extent. Now these "other persons" in highly traditional societies can include parents, family elders, relatives, priests and religious leaders. In a bit more liberal atmosphere we are able to see the utilization of the expertise of matchmaking agents, family friends and matrimonial sites. It's been seen that the matrimonial sites offer no less than some scope for that couple to know the other person before getting married. All other avenues, to a huge extent are out from the direct control and influence of the actual people getting married.

Arranged marriage: Positives of the arranged type of marriage

Now let's analyze the positive points with the arranged type of marriage. The foremost and foremost thing that has mind when we discuss the positives of arranged marriage may be the full support with the families from each side. Arranged marriages are decided after large amount of meetings and discussions among parents and elder members inherited and therefore the chance of any discord in the family as regard to the marriage can be mostly eliminated out. Further these marriages are made on a solid foundation of two families coming together and therefore the actual people marriage get lot of confidence. In fact the trust among them increases to a great extent because of the all round approval. Arranged marriage settings actually remove lot of burden and uncertainty from your lives of the unmarried children. For example if the boy or even the girl fully know that they are going to get married only through arranged type of marriage then they do not have to take the trouble of hunting their life partners by their particular. They can concentrate all their energies on more purposeful and fruitful endeavours like higher education and a career and leave the decision of their marriage completely to their parents. The other together with your arranged marriage include financial and physical support from the families for the newly wedded couple with regards to starting a new household that belongs to them. Moreover the nuclear family also provides a cushion in relatively tougher times. The future benefits of an arranged marriage add a secure environment for the following generation under the watchful eyes with the grandparents and a large family.

Arranged marriage: Negatives with the arranged type of marriage

As we have discussed the positives of arranged marriage in great length we have to also be aware of the negatives and shortcomings with the arranged type of marriage. One of the primary drawbacks of the arranged marriage is that the most important decision of your person's personal life's taken by someone else. There is no work involved from your boy or the girl for locating their life partner and there is no personal relationship involving the boy and girl according to love, understanding and resolve for a live a life together. The boy and girl are strangers together and they don't know the needs and wants of each other. This can latter cause lot of distress and will become a prime reason for marital discord. Further there's no guaranty that the trust between your families and elders which are seen in the initial days will continue for long. A small issue one of the senior members of the family could possibly get blown out of proportion and then the large egos from the parents and other senior loved ones can completely destroy the marriage. Further arranged marriages would be the biggest cause of dowry demands and dowry related problems. These marriages are also the biggest hindrance to private development and independence in everyday life. The girl and the boy become influenced by their families and they become incompetent at even taking the smallest decisions of their life by their particular. Further there is lot of interference from the families during the most trivial of matters as well as the boy and the girl never learn to sort of their lives the direction they want. Socially also arranged type of marriage is the biggest hindrance perfectly into a society which is depending on equality among the people. Arranged marriages will be the biggest propagators of the caste system and conservative faith.

Arranged marriage: Methods for arranged type of marriage

Every system have their positives and negatives. If you have decided that arranged marriage will be the only way that you can get married in today's circumstances prevailing in your life then it would be wise to increase the positives with the arranged marriage and steer clear of the negatives for the maximum extent. The top thing that you need to do would be to become accountable regarding your own marriage. Don't leave the decision of your marriage in others hands. It is all things considered your life and therefore your opinion needs to be respected. This is something you should communicate to your parents and elders in the house. Next is the source of getting a good match. Today when communications take place at lightning speed it's great to use tools like internet based matrimonial sites for searching your daily life partner. With this mode you should have some control in the buying process as you get a chance to directly speak to the other person to whom you will get married and further addititionally there is chance of brief courtship through this mode. A minimum of by this method you are able to know your life partner just a little better before getting actually married and you will also minimize dowry related demands and problems.

Further look into the horoscopes for a match if both the families insist on it. This will increase the confidence one of the families as well as the people who are getting married. It is highly desirable to maintain at least 3-4 months period gap involving the time the marriage is bound and the actual marriage date. Besides courtship and understanding one another, this time can be utilized for checking and rechecking the antecedents of the people who are getting married. Today can be also a good opportunity for your two families to mingle with one another and create enough rapport so that any future misunderstandings can be avoided. Finally the most crucial point to remember would be that the success of any marriage whether arranged or love marriage is dependent upon the two individuals who are actually engaged and getting married. It is definitely in their hands to really make the marriage a big success or even a big failure. - Clase Para Matrimonos y Parejas


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